Yesterday Tanya really got on my case about how I’m not the person I used to be, that I no longer pay attention to what I’m doing, that my mind just wants to get back to the Internet as soon as possible.
It’s true, and I don’t like the person I’ve become. Since I stopped working I’ve changed for the worse. I used to take pride in accomplishing a lot: working, cycling, hiking, cleaning my house, taking care of the yard, volunteering, writing, cooking, having dinner parties.
Now I do few of these things, instead filling too much my time with reading articles on the Internet. I berate myself for this but it’s so easy and there are so many fascinating things to read. Okay, I exaggerate a bit – I’m still motivated to get out and do long hikes and ride my bike up steep hills, but the rest of the time my mind wants to be occupied and I’ve been taking the easy way out.
Which brings me back to my phone. Every morning I pick it up and read emails and a few articles while I’m drinking my coffee. As soon as I’m looking at the phone my other plans – meditating, writing, pushups – fade away into the infinite distance, and I become filled with self loathing.
My infinity machine sits there on the table in front of me. I dislike it and want it out of my sight. It’s like chocolate – impossible to resist, so better to not have it around. But I use Repeat Timer to time my meditation so haven’t been able to banish the infinity machine, although as Tanya pointed out, I can use the timer on my watch instead. Tanya is great, she wants me to get out and ride or hike, to get involved with cooking, to meditate, to write, to do an online course.
I read (on the Internet of course 🙂 ) that scheduling one’s time is a good way to overcome procrastination and get things done, but have always procrastinated over starting such a program. Tanya wants me to start scheduling my time; in particular to set up a specific time slot for getting on the Internet (mail, Facebook, reading news and articles), then schedule time for writing, blogging, learning, and all the other things I want to do but don’t do because the alternative is easier.
My infinity machine has been stronger than me but I think with Tanya’s help I can vanquish it and return to being a person I like.
Do any of you face the same problem? What have you done to solve or alleviate it?
Links and Other Clicks
How scheduling time is a good way to get things done